ANSWERS TO Put it to work

We want to emphasize that these answers are, in many cases, highly subjective. Don't worry if your answers differ from ours. View our suggestions as exactly that.

DAY ONE: What are your goals for each of the following documents? Who are the audiences? What arguments might you have to frame? How will the medium you use affect your message?

· A government news release on a new environmental assessment procedure

Naturally, you want to show that the new procedure is consistent with government policy and advances government objectives, so that the government gets re-elected.

News releases go to the media, but the media in turn depend on their readers, so your audience is not only composed of editors, but of the editors' audiences as well. Likewise, you will probably send this release to environmental groups and businesses.

News releases are terse documents that use the inverted pyramid style, so your writing must match. You also have to think like a reporter, and frame your ideas in newsworthy ways, complete with snappy quotes.

· An office memo about the unsanitary state of the company kitchen

You want people who use the kitchen to clean up after themselves, and memos have to be short and snappy, so try a dash of humour. Memos are fairly informal documents, after all, and the audience is more likely to change its behaviour if presented with a less accusatory admonition. Indicate as well how little time it takes to clean the sink, as well as the health hazards of dirty counters.

· An ad in Maclean's for an Ottawa museum

Maclean's is a fairly general magazine, so you're probably going after people who visit Ottawa, either on business or for pleasure. You want to increase visits to the museum by showing that it is fun, fascinating, or both.

Ads, however, are a compressed medium. You have little space to communicate, so you must find the most distinctive, attention-grabbing aspects of your message, marry them to arresting images, and run the ad frequently.

· An annual report for a successful software company

The law requires that certain financial data be included in annual reports. But these documents are also good vehicles for promoting the company to the very readers of that data: stockholders and potential stockholders, as well as rivals and partners. You want to increase share price and, therefore, profits.

A successful company will want to use high-quality design and printing to show off its success. Contents can be arranged to highlight the company's achievements and explain the failures.

· A speech on interest rates given by a bank president to the Rotary Club

The president will want to reduce political pressure on the bank by showing that the marketplace justifies the current rates. Given the wide range of people who belong to the Rotary Club, the president will have to stay away from hard economics and focus on meaningful analogies, especially since speeches are a poor medium for numbers. He should show how, in the end, the current interest rates help Rotary Club members as businesspeople, employees and citizens.

DAY TWO: Yesterday, you put it to work by deciding on your goals and your audiences for these documents. How does the audience affect the way each of these documents will be written? How would you put yourself in your audience's shoes?

· A government news release on a new environmental assessment procedure

The audience will be sceptical of what the government is saying, so the release should include hard facts. Editors will also be looking for new angles that will interest their readers. Imagine yourself as a newspaper reader.

· An office memo about the unsanitary state of the company kitchen

The relationship between the staff and management will affect the way the readers receive the message. The memo will also influence how that relationship develops. Consider the image that the words used in the memo will leave behind.

· An ad in Maclean's for an Ottawa museum

Your audience is Maclean's readers, who can be defined demographically. In fact, the ad department can provide this information, so the ad should be written with the education and interests of that audience in mind.

· An annual report for a successful software company

The audience will be influenced by the package in which the message comes. Nevertheless, investors want hard data, and too much glitzy propaganda will leave investors cold.

· A speech on interest rates given by a bank president to the Rotary Club

The Rotary Club is devoted to community service, so the speech should be slanted to address their interests in the community. Will rising interest rates make the club's investments more valuable? Will falling rates make it easier for the club to get a loan to build a new playground?

DAY THREE: Where would you do research for these documents?

· A brochure on the history of a small software company

The company may have old newsletters and annual reports, as well as press clippings. Don't forget to interview current and retired employees. City Hall and rival companies may also offer interesting perspectives.

· A report on whether flex-time would benefit your company

Look through magazines and newspapers in the library for recent articles on flex-time. Business professors who have studied flex-time may have written books about it, or may be willing to be interviewed. You can also search the Web for flex-time pages, or post to various business newsgroups.

· A manual for using your company's new voice-mail system

If the company provided technical information, start with that. Then experiment with it yourself, and collect information from other employees and from users in other organizations.

· A one-page biography of your firm's CEO

The best place to start is by asking him or her for information. The CEO may also offer yearbooks, press clippings, a CV and other information.

· A speech on Canadian transportation policy

The federal and provincial governments are likely to have most of this information online. Departmental libraries may have more information, in particular press clippings and recent books on the subject.

DAY FOUR: You have been asked to write a one-page memo urging employees to donate money to a charity called Literacy on Wheels. Is this a persuasive document, or an informational one? Once you've decided that, decide how to organize the following facts.

· Your company has decided to sponsor Literacy on Wheels because a literate workforce is key to Canada's ability to compete on world markets.

· Donations to Literacy on Wheels are tax deductible.

· Literacy on Wheels is led by a neighbour of your organization's president.

· The charity sends volunteers to the homes of illiterate shut-ins.

· Departments within your organization will compete to see who can raise the most money.

· Last year, Literacy on Wheels helped 326 people in your community learn to read.

· Joe Smith, a prominent author, lends his name to Literacy on Wheels.

· The provincial government has cut funding to Literacy on Wheels by half.

· Literacy on Wheels was founded in 1992.

· Employees may donate through payroll deduction, by participating in special events or by giving to canvassers.

This is definitely a persuasive document! The readers will probably be neutral, but interested. A fun fact, such as the competition, might grab their attention (especially if there are prizes involved). Follow this with a description of what the organization does, the number of people helped and the provincial budget cuts. This shows that Literacy on Wheels fills a need, and needs help to keep doing so. Build credibility by mentioning the author and the founding date. Then tell employees how they can participate (a "call to action.") End by reminding readers that the donations are tax deductible (a strong point that will stick in readers' minds because it is the last point they will read). The rest of the information is probably not relevant to the audience.

DAY FIVE: In Day Four, you put it to work by doing an outline of a memo urging employees to donate to Literacy on Wheels. Now take that outline and flesh it out.

Your department wants you! This year, departments are competing against one another to see which organization can raise the most money for Literacy on Wheels, a charity that sends volunteers to the homes of illiterate shut-ins.

Last year, Literacy on Wheels helped 326 people learn to read, but this year the provincial government is cutting its funding for the charity in half. If we don't pitch in, fewer people will get the help they need this year, and more people will be left in the darkness of illiteracy.

Founded in 1992, Literacy on Wheels has attracted some high-profile support, including an endorsement from author Joe Smith. Now it needs your support. You can donate through payroll deduction, by participating in special events or by giving to canvassers. And remember, all donations are tax deductible!

DAY SIX: Choose between casual, informal and formal tones for each of the following documents:

· an employment contract (formal)

· an ad for a soft drink (casual)

· a summary of new procedures for filling supply requisitions (informal)

· a post-mortem on your organization's annual meeting (informal)

· a report on your organization's media clippings from the last quarter (informal)

· an e-mail to all staff describing the revised cafeteria menu (casual)

· a letter from your CEO to a federal cabinet minister to object to a new government policy (formal)

· a manual showing people how to use a computer program (informal)

DAY SEVEN: Write a short e-mail message to handle each of the following situations. Feel free to make up more details.

· An employee is persistently late. This means that she misses calls from clients and meetings with employees. Projects are backed up as a result. You'd like to fire this person, but you're not going to do so yet. Instead, you want to ask her to be punctual.

You have been doing good work lately, but I'd like to remind you that it is also important to get to work on time every day. I know that you may have sound reasons for being late some mornings, but your lateness is starting to hurt the whole organization. You have missed important calls and meetings, projects are falling behind, and you have made the position of many of your co-workers much more difficult. You must start coming in on time. Even though your work is otherwise satisfactory, I cannot continue to overlook your lateness. Please make whatever changes are necessary to be in by 9 am. We can also discuss flex-time. Feel free to come to me if you want to talk about this further.

· The accounting department has yet to provide the numbers you need for the annual report. Time is running out, and if you don't have the data in two days, you won't get the material to the printer in time for the reports to reach the annual meeting. You need the accountants to provide the numbers as soon as possible.

As you may recall, I asked you recently for the financial data for the annual report. The president wants to present this report at the annual meeting, which means that we have to send everything to the printer in two days. Further delay will jeopardize our schedule and possibly embarrass the whole company. I really hate to push you on this, but my back is up against the wall. When can I expect the data? Please let me know by 11 am.

· For the third time, you have to cancel a meeting with Jane in legal. Jane wants to sell you Amway products, and the last thing you want to do is tell her no -- again. As it happens, you need to spend the afternoon working to a deadline.

I'm really sorry, but I have to cancel this afternoon's meeting. I have a deadline to meet, one that I can't shift. How about tomorrow morning at 10 am? I'll even buy the coffee.

DAY EIGHT: Make the following sentences active.

· The products will be sold throughout the New Year. (We will sell the products throughout the New Year.)

· The committee was led by Jane Ohara, who decided to expand its mandate. (Jane Ohara decided to expand her committee's mandate.)

· Results were unsatisfactory, so your contract has been terminated. (The passive voice is warranted here, to soften the harshness of the active voice, which would read Your results were unsatisfactory, so we have terminated your contract.)

· There is a new optimism in this country. (This does not need to be changed.)

· The Web page is being launched shortly by our technical services department. (Our technical services department will launch the Web page shortly.)

· I have been mandated by senior management to facilitate the hiring process. (Senior management has mandated me to facilitate the hiring process. Note, however, that this sentence contains a lot of puffed-up words, which we discuss on Day Ten. To rewrite it without puffed-up words, you could simply write "Senior management has asked me to help you hire someone.")

DAY NINE: Read the following excerpt, from a speech used at an event honouring young entrepreneurs. A device resembling a UFO has just swooped over the audience. Note which stylistic devices the writer uses.

"You may be wondering why our lunch has just been invaded by a flying saucer. Happily, it's not because Mars needs young entrepreneurs. In fact, that flying saucer isn't from Mars, but from right here in St. John's! And it's not really a flying saucer at all, but a miniature version of an aircraft assembled by Kystar, an aircraft used to carry heavy industrial loads.

The Martian invasion is a vivid image, one that appeals to the generation that watches The X-Files.

"Fifteen years ago, Kystar was a one-person company that was introducing Canada to helicopter logging. Today, Kystar is a leader in aviation technology, and works with such prestigious international clients as BMW and NASA.

This paragraph is a rags-to-riches story in just 34 words!

"I mention Kystar because companies such as that show us the way. Too often, we think of science and technology as Star Wars and Star Trek, as flying saucers and ray guns. But behind flashy toys are real improvements in people's business and personal lives. The Kystar aircraft we saw may look like a UFO, but down here on Earth, it is making industrial transportation more efficient.

Now the analogy is turned around to make its opposite point.

"Technology isn't science fiction, it's science fact.

Note the twist on fiction and fact, as well as the alliteration.

"But it is by looking to the future that we expand the frontiers of science and technology. It is by believing in a better tomorrow that we step ahead, bit by bit and day by day. Our young people will take us to that better tomorrow; they will take science and technology to new heights.

Note the use of repetition here, particularly it is by and in the notion of explaining what young people will do.

"But as I said, we don't have to wait for the future.

"Today's young entrepreneurs are already using technology that nobody imagined possible just 10 years ago. When we started giving out these awards, back in 1979, who would have imagined that we could come to this luncheon, laptops in hand, and check our e-mail with cellular modems? Who would have imagined that the Soviet Union would fall, Asia would rise, and the whole world would be brought together in ever-tighter trading arrangements?

More concrete, animate analogies here, as well as repetition. Both these elements are especially necessary in speeches, which lack the kind of visual markers you navigate by when reading printed text.

"Who knows what things will be like 17 years from now, in 2013? Maybe we'll all be riding to work in Kystars! Or maybe one of the people we honour tonight will have an idea that will change the world even more than Microsoft has.

You can feel the conclusion coming here, as the speaker returns to the Kystar, connecting it to the themes of the speech.

"That's the kind of spirit we honour today: a restless quest for the next frontier, whether it be a frontier of innovation ... or a frontier of trade ... or even, perhaps, the Final Frontier!

Notice the power in words like restless quest, as well as the reiteration of the evocative word frontier, which epitomizes several of the speech's key ideas.

"I don't know where all those frontiers will be, but I do know that my organization will be there, helping bright people with bright ideas to cross over into uncharted territory. We've already gone far. I can't wait to see where we're headed next."

Now, in closing, the speaker drops a restrained mention of his or her own organization. Notice how the emphasis is on helping people, not providing programs.

DAY TEN: Replace the jargon, euphemisms and puffed-up words in these sentences.

· The president stated that the administrative assistants have been de-hired. (The president said that the secretaries have been dismissed.)

· The income-deprived may facilitate the job re-entry process by utilizing educational opportunities. (Education can help the poor get jobs.)

· An increase in the leading indicators should enhance economic performance in the next quarter. (This sentence is so bogged down by jargon that it actually doesn't make sense. You can see that by taking out the jargon: An increase in the leading indicatorseconomic statistics that illustrate the strength of the economyshould help the economy perform better over the next three months. Statistics can't help the economy perform better. They simply measure the things that are actually improving the economy.)

· The patient experienced contusions of the epidermis of the cranium. (The patient bruised his head.)

· I have been mandated by senior management to facilitate the hiring process. (Senior management has asked me to help you hire somebody.)

· I hear that Harry and Sally were sleeping together when Harry went to meet his maker. ("Sleeping together" may be appropriate if they were actually sleeping, or if you don't want to get into the anatomical detail! However, you would probably change "went to meet his maker" to "died," unless your audience is really sensitive.)

· My mission is to discern why profits are trending upwards, and to uncover methods of applying these solutions to challenges elsewhere. (I want to find out why we're making more money, and to find ways to use this information to solve problems elsewhere.)

· Our endeavours to increase supplier diversity were sub-optimal. (We couldn't find other suppliers.)

DAY ELEVEN: Look for signs of insensitive writing in the following passage.

"Cross-Canada Airlines unreservedly apologizes to the Chinamen ("Chinamen"? "Chinese" is better) who took our flight from Peking (now called Beijing) to Vancouver last month. The stewardesses (are they all female? try flight attendants) should never have suggested that our airline does not use chopsticks for sanitary reasons (no kidding; don't make the mistake worse by repeating it). As you know, we Canadians aren't bigoted (does this mean that some nationalities are by nature bigoted?), and that's especially the case here at CCA. For example, we have special meals for the Jews and Moslems who won't eat our regular food (yikes! "regular food" suggests that there is something aberrant about Jews and Moslems; "won't" makes the passengers sound like picky toddlers instead of people with a genuine dietary restriction; in any event, why focus attention on those specific religions?) , and we built ramps so that the cripples (the disabled) can get into the plane. We also let old people board first, so that they are out of everyone else's way (yikes again! surely you let the elderly on earlier for their convenience). As you can see, CCA is at the forefront of tolerating race, gender and other differences (differences, or better still, diversity, should be accepted, not merely tolerated), including homosexuality and disability issues (likewise, although there is also a grammar problem with defining issues as differences). If you have further questions, our help line in manned (staffed) around the clock. The perky girls (why say that the girls are perky, or even that they are girls?) there will be pleased to help you with all your complaints (customer relations isn't about dealing with complaints, but about addressing concerns)."

DAY TWELVE: Cut the fat out of these sentences.

· After the final outcome of the meeting, I made a choice to look for other employment. (After the meeting, I chose to look for another job.)

· The facilitation of the management process is accomplished through reduction in the time element consumed in the communication of factual information through intermediary channels. (When we spend less time communicating through intermediaries, we get more done.)

· The award achieves the recognition of employees who have made significant contributions to the advancement of our employment equity program. (The award recognizes employees who significantly contribute to employment equity.)

· Jane is a writer of correspondence for the vice-president of human resources. (Jane writes letters for the human resources vice-president.)

· The recommendations, which were completed and approved on July 10, after consultation with all relevant stakeholders, who met in cross-country sessions to discuss the merits of the proposals, will be forwarded to Cabinet, for their consideration. (We met with stakeholders across the country to discuss the proposals. On July 10, we approved the resulting recommendations. We will send them to Cabinet, which will consider them.)

· In regards to your letter of March 22, I am hereby notifying you that we actively considered your proposal and, upon appropriate reflection, it has been decided that the present facts do not support our participation at this point in time. (We will not participate.)

· Our company intends to effect a consideration of your proposals at our earliest possible convenience. (We will consider your proposals soon.)

· Our in-flight hostesses will be prepared to assist you with your comfort needs once the beautiful new 747 has reached airborne status. (Our flight attendants can make you more comfortable once we are airborne.)

DAY THIRTEEN: Make these sentences more clear, by dividing them into two or more sentences, or by using lists or tables.

· Suzanne, Tom, Louis and Jean came to the meeting, but Steven and Chantal couldn't make it, Doris was late and Sam left early because he had to go to the meeting of the board of directors. (Suzanne, Tom, Louis and Jean came to the meeting. Steven and Chantal couldn't make it, and Doris was late. Sam left early because he had to go to the meeting of the board of directors.)

· Our expenditures for this month include $231.22 for food for the lunchroom, such as chips and sandwiches, the $184.86 we spent on two new toner cartridges for the photocopying machine, and $448.17 in long-distance phone charges, which were high this month because we were conducting a survey of clients in northern B.C.

(This month, we spent

• $231.22 for food for the lunchroom, such as chips and sandwiches;
• $184.86 on two new toner cartridges for the photocopying machine; and
• $448.17 in long-distance phone charges (these were high this month because we were surveying clients in northern B.C.))

30. Ten of us are sharing a ski chalet next weekend, I hope we don't come to blows. (Ten of us are sharing a ski chalet next weekend. I hope we don't come to blows. The original is a run-on sentence, so the two parts need to be either more firmly joined or more firmly separated. Depending on the meaning desired, it could be rewritten many other ways, including Ten of us are sharing a ski chalet next weekend and I hope we don't come to blows.)